i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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