Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
