I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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