can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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