Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
