Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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