Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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