I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am naked and annoyed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS