I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.