Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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