theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck