Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.