yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
