i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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