I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
