ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
