I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
