i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Walk of Shame today included voting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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