once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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