i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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