all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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