Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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