Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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