You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
