Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
