wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
