Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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