How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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