We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
