Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
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I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
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I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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