bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
