i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So much Jack, so little girl.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
