Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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