He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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