I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
