Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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