Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
