Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
