"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
