I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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