I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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