Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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