Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
