no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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