Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two