Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
