D3 body, D1 cock
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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