DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
