dude i'm inner monologue high
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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