i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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