tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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