I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
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