she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
is wine microwaveable?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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