I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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