im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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