It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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