Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
