I saw his package. It spoke to me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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