I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.