wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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