I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he puts the penis in happiness.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
