Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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