We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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