She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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