Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
