when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
